I had a bit of a concerning episode this past week that brought the fact that I do still in fact live with chronic illness into sharp focus.
It was jarring, and to be completely honest, a touch on the scary side.
I was reading at work on my lunch hour, as I do, unless I have plans with a coworker. Near the end of the hour, as I was getting ready to stand up and get back to it, I felt my hands go numb and I began to feel very lightheaded and shaky. Now, this wasn't regular numb hands. It felt like the warmth and feeling just drained down my hands from my fingertips. My hands were left feeling ice cold and without feeling. Not even pins and needles.
I was unable to stand up and find help somewhere around the office for a solid 10-15 minutes. When I could finally get up and move, I located a coworker who happened to be health & safety, luckily enough, and he helped me. First with calming down some as my anxiety had shot through the roof, then with getting me to the hospital emergency room and waiting with me until he couldn't any longer. I was thankful for his time and assistance.
The episode had long passed, but his good sense advised that it wouldn't hurt to stay and get checked out in case it is something serious. The triage nurse took my blood pressure and pulse and temperature, not once alluding to what my numbers were, then informed me I would be having an ECG completes. Thankfully that was quick. Especially considering that was when my anxiety spiked to the highest it has been.
I made sure to let the nurse know I do have a diagnosis of fibromyalgia, in case that affected anything. Though lucky for me, it seems to have been in a sort of remission for the past few of months or so. However, I left the emergency room with no answers and a, “If it happens again, come back.”
I still don't know what to think of this episode and it has left me out of sorts, even a week later. I spoke with my doctor yesterday (Oct 4) about it at my annual physical, and he suggested it might be blood pressure related. But why would it happen only once? Is this a new symptom that could happen again? Was it a one-time fluke? With the new added stress, how I have been feeling since has changed drastically. My pain levels are definitely higher than normal and other weird things are happening. Like last night, for example: my left foot just went into this weird spasm where it tightened right up and I still can't put my full weight on it today without some sort of wrap or support. Is it related? Who fuckin' knows.
Just another instance of living with a chronic illness that doctors really seem to know nothing about.
Thanks, I hate it.
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Something I have learned recently: NOTHING prepares you for the experience that is the PAP smear.
What I'm listening to: My personally curated Hallowtunes playlist on Spotify.
If you're interested in checking it out: