Jess and I have been friends since we were 14 years old. We met in Spanish class, which we both took in lieu of gym class because of knee injuries. We used to pass notes in class, writing them in Spanish so as to not get in trouble.
Over the years, our friendship has been through a lot: abusive relationships, piece of shit boyfriends, and the biggest contender - distance. Back in the day, before video calls and even texting were a regular thing, we used to write letters to each other. The odd visit would happen, but for a long time those visits were few and far between and our letters kept us in touch.
There has been anger and frustration, joy and happiness and a whole slew of other emotions throughout our friendship. There have been moments where we have to agree to disagree. We have gone through significant periods of time where we haven’t spoken to each other for one reason or another, but we always come back to each other eventually.
Back in 2016, Jess moved her life out to British Columbia to give a relationship a second go ‘round and to be close to her daughter. Things didn’t work out, but she found the place where she belonged and put down roots. She loves B.C. And will never return to Ontario if she can help it.
I managed to get out to visit her in 2017 and 2019, and the gaps in between were hard enough. Thanks to the pandemic, I have since gone four years without seeing her, and while I am thankful now for video calls being a thing, it hasn’t been easy. I miss her. I struggle and it feels weird when we go longer than a few days without talking. Sometimes it’s just a single text, but it’s enough. Maybe it’s codependence, maybe I just love the shit out of her.
This year I was finally able to get out to see her again. In fact, I just returned home. I think it was the most fulfilling visit we have had yet. We caught up, and within minutes it was like we saw each other yesterday. I finally met her dog, who is a sweet boy. We also saw some pretty rad sights. Most importantly, I have photo evidence of said visit to keep me going for a while.
I brought my mom with me this time, and Jess reveled in having both of us there. Hugs and love abounded. It was really quite wholesome.
It was difficult to leave again, not knowing when we will see each other again. I’m again thankful for video chats! My goal is to make it out to B.C every year going forward. I am in love with the province itself, and there is so much more to see! I intend to see it with Jess as I visit over the coming years.
That all said, I am now home from our visit, and I miss her. As crazy as the days were, it was so good to see her and reconnect properly again. There is an empty place here in Ontario.
Here’s to lifelong friendships and making the most of it when we can.